Why? oh Why!

Here we are again. As always I have been doing a lot of thinking about why my intentions are always so different from my actions. i.e. why I procrastinate so much and live with a never ending lingering feeling of guilt about my past failures?

It is fear of failure? Or even worse a fear of success? Maybe I am just a fundamentally lazy person and I should just give up, simplify my life down to the most simple level and enjoy a life of Saturday afternoon movies and sleeping in?

Hmmmmm... I honestly don't know. I do know that I want to answer those questions and make some kind of peace with the answers. So I'm not going to give up, even if I'm still posting here every two years until I'm 80.

Stay tuned folks, if there is even anyone out there, I hope this finds you well.

peace

Adam

The Truth

Hi there everyone

Is anyone reading this? I wonder....

Well, it's been over two years since I've posted. What happened you ask? Well, on May 15, 2008 I woke up and sat down at my desk, ready once again to take on the world. I'd been having a harder and harder time staying motivated, really miserable actually. I'd sit down at my desk and before you knew it, it was 8 hours later and I had gotten squat done. So this particular day I had once again decided to redouble my efforts. I opened my computer and got to work. All of a sudden it was lunch time and I had spent all morning staring at my computer screen. I went to the bathroom full of fear and anxiety. I looked in the mirror and something inside me snapped. I simply couldn't lie to myself anymore. My work was making me miserable and it had been for a long time.

So I quit. I broke the promise I had made to god on September 11th, 2001 (to spend the rest of my life making the world a better place, I mean, really, doing absolutely everything within my powers to make sure nothing like that ever happened again).

When I walked outside it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt wonderful. Now, a lot has happened since then and I've struggled to come to terms with my decisions in a variety of ways. I'm now an electrician and work a normal job and live a normal (and stable) life. I'm in love and am engaged. Life is good. Things are good. But, I still have mixed feelings about 'giving up' on my 'work'. So, I've decided (in a very relaxed and loose way) to return to what I once considered my life's work. The first thing I'm going to do is share my lessons learned from my failure. I figure they might be valuable to other aspiring activist filmmakers / change agents. I've done a lot of soul searching around where I went wrong and how my most basic of intentions sabotaged me before I ever began. After that, I hope to start creating again. Who knows, maybe Fixing Capitalism in one form or another will still one day come into existence.

Anyhoo, more on all that next time. Peace and love to all!

Adam Cormier

If you look at the date of my last blog it's actually after the date I quit. Well, I was enrolled in a government program to start a business and I had to keep up apperances... it's not a total lie. It took me a while to fully let go and decide to switch careers. (I do enjoy being an electrician btw, certainly much more then I ever enjoyed film and television).

Mojoy Media

Ladies and Gentlmen, I am pleased to announce the new face of my films... drum roll please... Mojoy Media!

It stands for More Joy. Which is what we plan to bring to the world. The word Mojo is also in there, which represents power and magic to me.

Wondering where I've been? Well, for the past 10 weeks I was enrolled in the Government of Canada's Self Employment Program (SEP). I wrote a business plan, I laughed, I cried (really), I spent a lot of time at the YMCA. In a nutshell, it means that I've got 38 weeks of government funding to start my own production company!

38 weeks to build community around film, challenge injustice, and re-invent production. Oh, and tell stories. That IS the most important thing.

Our pilot project will still be the Phthalates/Plastics documentary. I'll be on here much more in the near future, sharing the film making journey with you as well as footage as we go.

That's it. I just wanted to share that with the world.

Mojoy Media is here.

Peace and thanks

Adam C

The dilemma that the Majority of Independent Filmmakers face on a regular basis

One day you have an idea for an amazing film. You know it will change the world, shock society out of its slumber and in general, ROCK! What next? Well, hopefully you’re independently wealthy and can take the next two years off work to research, write, produce, and distribute your film. If you’re not independently wealthy and have to pay rent, student loans, and bills AND keep yourself fed every month, things get a bit more interesting.

This is the dilemma that the majority of independent filmmakers face on a regular basis. You just want to make your film but somehow need to make a living at the same time.

I don’t claim to have the solution to this conundrum yet but I’ve certainly been searching for it. Here is a quick list of the options I’ve identified so far.

1. Take a job in television. If you work for 6 months you should be able to save enough to take 3 months off paid work. 3 months isn’t enough time to get your film made but you should be able to get a solid chunk of the research and writing done. If you’re lucky you’ll get a couple of grant applications out the door before you have to return to work.

2. Get a good part time job and spend the rest of your time working on your film. This is a good option that will provide a lot of balance to your life. The downside is that it will take you twice as long to make your film if you can only work on it 2-3 days a week.

3. Move home to your parents house and live in their basement. They love it when you do that.

4. Try to convince an established company to take on your film and then approach the broadcasters. Together you could raise several hundred thousand dollars from the Broadcasters, Telefilm, and government tax breaks. It will be tricky for you to maintain creative control if you’re not an established filmmaker with a solid record. Also, there will be pressure at every stage of the process to make your film more appealing to the broadcaster and television audience. If you’re making something Radical and Mind-Bombish, it might end being….less radical, more commercial friendly.

5. Attend a market. Every year in Canada there are several ‘markets’ (i.e. Doc Talk in BC and Hot Docs in Toronto) in which filmmakers get to pitch broadcasters for funding and support. If you’ve got an amazing idea and unique access AND some skills, there is chance you will create a partnership which leads to your film getting made

6. Approach the NFB. If they decide to support you they will help you get your film made. The only downside is that they own your film afterwards. If it hits and sells a million copies your career has a big boost but you’re still a broke-ass.

7. Somehow convince your audience to pay for your film. Say you’re making a film about cat ladies; you might be able to get the SPCA to fund your film, that sort of thing. Hmmmm… Cat Ladies. That’s not a bad idea!

These seven options are just off the top of my head. A combination of any of them is possible. If you are a rookie filmmaker with a radical world changing idea I would be happy to look at your project and help you devise a unique strategy around it.

Personally, I'm focusing on independent distribution and audience generated fundraising. Over the next year I'm hoping to start my own small company and break the broke-ass cycle so that I can work on what I need to work on when I need to work on it.

Peace and Thanks to all

Adam

p.s. Next time. Protecting Your (unborn son's) Package!

Enough bulls@#t already!

Hello Internet Peoples!

Looks like I’m going to have to just make the f**king movie! I’m going to get a camera, a microphone and a small light and spend a couple of months hitchhiking around North America making my documentary about Capitalism. It’ll be fun, it’ll be entertaining, it’ll rock your world. Trucker Bob will be as much a part of the film as Professor Gerald or CEO Bennett. To tell you the truth, it’s what I should have done four years ago. I should have just made the freaking movie.

It’s been over four years since I first had the idea for this film?! Four Years!!! I think about this and I shake my head in disbelief. The whole affair has been one giant clusterf**k of me messing up over and over again.

It’s been 10 months since I last blogged here and you might be wondering what happened. I won’t go into the details but suffice to say, the big budget, main stream version of the film we’ve been chasing, failed to materialize. Fixing Capitalism is back at square one.

I don’t know what I was thinking pursuing a big budget mainstream version of a radical film about Capitalism. Oh wait, I do know. I let fear and greed rule many of my decisions. The same emotions which make Capitalism such a dark force in the world ended up controlling the direction of the film.

I tell you one thing though. It’s been pretty damn educational. I feel like a whole new person, I know what I want to do and how I’m going to do it. I feel empowered. I’m kind of pissed off, but in a good way.

Never again will I have my work be frozen in place waiting for some other factor to fall into place.

So what next you ask? Well, Fixing Capitalism is going to go on the back burner for a while. It’s been ruling my life for four years and I need to leave it alone for a little while. In the mean time I’m starting a small production company. Our focus will be on producing and independently distributing radical media on the Internets. Our flagship project is an epic docu-comedy called Plastics Make Your Penis Smaller.

More about that later.

If you are an aspiring filmmaker with a kickass idea I’d encourage you to get in touch with me. I want to pass on my hard earned lessons from the past four years. I want to help other people get their media out into the world.

Much peace and love to all

Adam Cormier

Half way there

It’s starting to feel like all my Blog postings here basically say the same thing.

Which is:

“Hi! Yep, we’re still struggling to get this thing to the next level. I’m currently being held back by X, Y, and Z but don’t worry, we have a small glimmer of hope on the horizon in the form of Q.”

Does anyone else feel this way? That this Blog isn’t so much about making a film as about NOT making a film?

ANYWAY. Here we are. Still struggling to get this film off the ground! I’m finally back from Cold Lake, which is awesome. I saved up enough money there to take March off and pour my energy into Fixing Capitalism. All in all, there is nothing holding us back right now besides the usual film industry things. Last week we met with a very talented Director named Sally Aitken who is going to take a stab at finally nailing down the films visual vision. You know, what you’ll actually see on screen. (this is a wee bit important since we’re making a MOVIE).

Sally is much more then a glimmer of hope, she’s a full on beam of sunlight.

I’ll also be speaking at the University of Alberta on March 13th at a Social Entrepreneurship conference being put off by Eonfire. That’ll be fun. I’m hoping to bring my “how Capitalism is broken” thesis to a new level of clarity and entertainment.

What else, what else? Once Sally has expressed and written down her vision we’ll be re-approaching some broadcasters and the NFB. Hopefully, they will come on board with some development funding. If not, then it’s full steam ahead on financing the film alternatively. In which case I’ll be contacting pretty much everyone I can possibly think of looking for donations and help.

Oh, and if God smiles on us this month, the website will finally get back online!

All in all, I’m feeling good. Had a killer flu last week, which kicked my ass, but am now all better. My friends Brian and Christina had a healthy baby boy on Valentines Day! Welcome to the planet earth little Caleb.

More then anything else, I’m feeling comfortable with this path I’ve chosen as a career. With any luck, I can blend my skills into a career of activism and filmmaking so as I don’t starve and one day, realize my dream of “opting out” of the economy and living in the wilderness of Newfoundland.

I know it might seem like we’re forever spinning our wheels on this project but we’re not. Progress, while slow, has been steady. In fact, the more I learn about the film industry the more I realize that my experience is pretty normal. On average, it takes a documentary film like this one about seven years to see completion. Which puts me at about half way there!
Ha!

If you read this and think you can help, please send an E-mail.

Much Peace

Adam

A question for you

Hello again

Greetings from Cold Lake, Alberta! In case you’ve forgotten I’m here working as a Field PA on a Discovery Channel show. Life here is strange and surreal. We have a small crew that works and lives on this air force base 24/7. We follow the same small group of pilot’s day in and day out. Their lives are fascinating and my co-workers are fantastic but after a few months of the same scene every freaking day… well, you start to lose your grip on reality! Especially on bad weather days. To tell you the truth I’ve been getting fat sitting on my butt when a storm blows in. Not a lot to film when the pilots we’re documenting can’t fly.

Luckily, my sanity was recently given a reprieve as I visited Whistler, BC and pitched Fixing Capitalism to a group of broadcasters, commissioning editors, and other various peoples with money. In case you missed the event you can find out all about Doc Talk and Pitch Fest West here:

http://www.whistlerfilmfestival.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=104&Itemid=152

So there I am, standing in front of about 200 people with my creative partner Alan Goldman. About to “pitch” them. (Pitching is a TV and Film thing, where you entice someone to back your idea). I’m sweating, the lights are in my eyes and my suit is too tight (snow days, remember). Right as I open my mouth, everything clicks. My butterflies disappear, Alan and I do a great job, the feedback is great. Once again, I am reminded of how much I love the stage. If I could stand in front of the whole world and give them one powerful message of peace and hope, I’d do so in an instant. Lately I’m been having dreams where I am on stage about to do that, but I wake just before I start speaking.

In case you’re wondering, no body ended up “backing” Fixing Capitalism. The feedback was tough but very focused. If anything, the next step will be the hardest yet. We have to make that final leap from idea to story. We’re almost there. If we can get do it, we have some people to call back.

As soon I get done this job I’ll have a free month to try and make that next push. Either the story will come or I’ll have some hard decisions to make.

This film might be too radical and intellectual to make it onto TV. The next months will tell a lot.

Funny thing, Capitalism is having quite an influence over Fixing Capitalism.

What else, what else? I’ve been feeling good in general and taking long walks in the woods, taking time to sort though my thoughts and my heart. I’m enjoying my day job and thinking that TV and film could be a real home for me as a career, on top of my activism. Being a filmmaker and a change maker go hand in hand.

Oh, and while I was in Whistler I bought a book to read on those bad weather days. “The Documentary Filmmakers Handbook” by Genevieve Jolliffe and Andrew Zinnes is my new companion on the days I’m forced to ‘stand-by to stand-by’. If I’ve got to sit on my butt I might as well be adding some tools to my toolbox.

Yup. That’s about it. Still in Cold Lake. Had a good ‘Pitch’ at Doc Talk. Feeling happy. Ready to move forward after this gig, even if FC ends up being independently financed and produced.

Here’s a question. Does anyone actually read this Blog? If you do read this please consider making a comment in the comments section on the following question:

Should I continue to work within the Canadian system to get this project on TV (and thus financed) OR should poor my efforts into finding an alternative and independent way to move things forward?

One way or another I am going to see the project though to completion. Nothing is impossible, not even Fixing Capitalism.

Much peace and love to all

Adam J. Cormier